I have been contemplating how to accept a compliment in an egoless state.
One of the men I share a house with is the world champion acknowledger and appreciator. Nothing and no one in our world goes unrecognized or unappreciated in some way. He frequently calls me within a couple of blocks of home to tell me something I have done that he is appreciative of and has neglected to mention. I have never been acknowledged or appreciated so much by anyone in my life. This was becoming almost annoying.
While I have no doubt as to his sincerity, on some level I felt that I did not deserve the praise. Somewhere I picked up the idea that praise and appreciation were rewards for hard work and achievement so it felt unearned. More like I was being honored for something I did automatically like breathing. Maybe part of my DNA but then I realized that I am part of the DNA of all creation and am reflecting an aspect of that whole. It seems egocentric to accept a reward for something that is more an accident of birth and upbringing or living long enough that you have worked out the kinks of life. And, I wonder, does appreciation imply comparison which Brugh has cautioned about?
I told him that my heroes that I appreciate are those that may not have the tools I have but have overcome challenges in their lives and have chosen to take a higher road to achievement. While he concurs that this is indeed commendable, he points out that many people have the tools to do something but it does not mean that they will use them unselfishly or care enough to step forward and make a difference in the lives of others without fear or expectation of reward.
The fact that I am willing to show up and move fearlessly, following the vision of how I intend things to be, regardless of how they appear, is what is remarkable and cause for acknowledgement and appreciation, not just the results of my actions. It is not just that I can pull off the perfect dinner party without breaking a sweat but that everyone there feels loved, appreciated and honored. Because it is so effortless they are at ease and able to share their own gifts as well which creates the magic when two or more are gathered together.
That I get and accept with gratitude because we all struggle with what it means to live a life of integrity and honor and it is nice when someone notices when we hit the mark and says “I see you” in the Avatar sense. It is how we encourage each other to reach higher.
Thank you my friend for being a mirror to me when mine is smudged.
